Compromising too much in your relationships? Read this.

Slow down before you react to a request for compromise.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Relationships give, and they take. For your relationships to thrive, you have to know just how much of each to do. How much of yourself – your time, your energy, your identity – do you want to let go of for the sake of your relationships? How much do you want to compromise?

Last week’s letter asked this question and urged you to slow down when thinking about your “compromise decisions.” This week, I offer a practical activity that prepares you for compromise and helps you learn more about yourself, in ways that may surprise you.

When asked to compromise, our fast-moving brains push us to automatically, impulsively, or immediately react in the moment. We are either compelled to protect our autonomy (which is important) or to protect our sense of belonging (which is also important), and we’re compelled to do either in the moment because the fear of losing ourselves or our connections can be great.

But these decisions deserve more thought. If we hold firm …