When Serious Relationship Conversations Should Happen Over Text

Breaking the "no texting serious talks" rule might just save your relationship—here's how to know when writing it out is the better decision.

Ella and Marcus are sitting on opposite ends of the couch, the air between them thick with tension. Ella’s trying to explain why she feels like Marcus hasn’t been showing up for her emotionally. But every time she starts to get her point across, Marcus interrupts—defensive, frustrated, and clearly not hearing her.

“I don’t know why you always assume the worst about me,” he snaps.

“I’m not assuming the worst! I’m trying to tell you how I feel,” Ella fires back, her voice rising.

Before long, the conversation is more about who’s right than about what Ella was trying to share in the first place. She wanted connection. She wanted him to understand where she was coming from. Instead, they’re both retreating into their corners, emotionally bruised and more distant than before.

If you’ve ever been in a conversation like this, you know how draining it can be. You start out with the best intentions—to be honest, to connect, to work through something together. But face-to-face talks about serious issues don’t always go the way we hope they will. The rule of thumb is that big conversations should always happen in person (or at least over the phone), but sometimes, that advice doesn’t hold up.