Don't want to compromise in your relationships? Read this.

Sometimes, when people ask you to change, you should. But other times, you shouldn't. How do you know if you're making the right choice?

Photo by Birendra Padmaperuma on Unsplash

Years ago, when marijuana was illegal in all 50 states, I lived with a guy who smoked weed. A lot of it. He hid it from me because he knew I wasn’t comfortable with it, and when I smelled it on him… when I asked him about it and urged him to stop… he’d get defensive. “You shouldn’t tell me what to do,” he’d say. “I should have the freedom to live the way I want to live.”

He had a point. Who was I to control his life, to dictate his choices? It felt wrong to pressure him against his will. In fact, research tells us that losing our decision-making autonomy can be psychologically painful. I didn’t want to feel uncomfortable in my own home, but I didn’t want to be an asshole. I didn’t want to come across as a tyrant.

Some would argue that even the law shouldn’t have constrained his choices, that it shouldn’t curb any of us in exercising our individual rights. This is what freedom is about, they say. This is what it means to have liberties.

He didn’t w…